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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes
- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
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Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Biography lends to death a new terror.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Patience Quotes
- What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes