Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Book Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. J. Liebling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Media Control Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes