Mahatma Gandhi Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The French complain of everything, and always.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

He would make a lovely corpse.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.

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Tags : Mahatma Gandhi Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes