Albert Einstein Quotes, Funny Quotes, Girl Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in their dry beds, at anchor for ever. Today is my son's birthday. Thousands of miles from here, his healthy lungs are blowing out candles. I should be there but I'm here with another boy, who puts his face close to mine and laughs. I smile back but realise he can't see it, because I'm wearing an antiseptic muzzles to protect me from his breath.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. A. Gill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beach Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes