George W. Bush Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Many readers judge of the power of a book by the shock it gives their feelings - as some savage tribes determine the power of muskets by their recoil; that being considered best which fairly prostrates the purchaser.

5 years ago

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reading Quotes

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Senior Quotes

I drink to make other people more interesting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Riches are for spending.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.

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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

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Tags : Edgar Allan Poe Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pain Quotes