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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Reality Quotes
- ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes
- A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes
- People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
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Tags : Al Yankovic Quotes , Funny Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- God gives us our relatives – thank God we can choose our friends.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.
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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes