Alan Carr Quotes, Funny Quotes, Teeth Quotes

I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Teeth Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes