Oscar Wilde Quotes, Funny Quotes, Friendship Quotes

He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

"Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.

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Tags : Al Unser Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes