Oscar Wilde Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kissing Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Pimples Quotes

When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes