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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
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Tags : Alan Coren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes
- A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It's a funny old world.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes
- It's your money. You paid for it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes