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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes
- Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son the hardships that made him rich.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- You can't imagine what a pleasure this complete laziness is to me: not a thought in my brain- you might send a ball rolling through it!
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes
- A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes
- Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
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Tags : Abbie Hoffman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dope Quotes
- He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fate Quotes
- Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes
- My best training came from my father.
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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.
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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes