Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Peace Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.

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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , War Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes

If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kitchen Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes