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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- God gives us our relatives – thank God we can choose our friends.
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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fake People Quotes
- The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.
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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- We were together. I forget the rest.
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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes
- Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes