Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes

It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves

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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes