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  • Funny Quotes   957
  • It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
  • Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
  • Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.
    • 4 years ago



    Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes
  • The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes