Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Jesus Quotes

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born, in opposition to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the dissuadinig arguments of my best friends.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fashion Quotes

Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes