Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

"I go so far as to say, miss, morehover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit-"and let my words be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself-that wot my opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present time."

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile, & the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes