T. S. Eliot Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abba Eban Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fall Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen'lman says of another, 'the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so' you vill understand, sir, that that means, 'if he vill allow me to keep up that 'ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.'

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes