Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humor Quotes

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Sunshine is my quest.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.

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Tags : A. R. Gurney Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hockey Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Success Quotes

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.

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Tags : Alan Minter Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not mildly, but will all my heart. To me an opera is the very climax & cap-stone of the absurd, the fantastic the unjustifiable. I hate the very name of opera - partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, & partly because I want to love it and can't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hate Quotes

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

The French complain of everything, and always.

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The covers of this book are too far apart.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes