Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes, Funny Quotes, Death Quotes

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes