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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- A good scare is worth more than good advice.
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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes
- He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- If a student takes the whole series of my folklore courses including the graduate seminars, he or she should learn something about fieldwork, something about bibliography, something about how to carry out library research, and something about how to publish that research.
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Tags : Alan Dundes Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent.
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Tags : William Blake Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.
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Tags : Alan Ayckbourn Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- The dog is very smart. He feels sorry for me because I receive so much mail; that's why he tries to bite the mailman.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes