Al Capone Quotes, Funny Quotes, Drinking Quotes

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports... all the others are games.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I think war is a dangerous place.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes