Margaret Thatcher Quotes, Funny Quotes, World Quotes

It's a funny old world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , World Quotes

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The Secretary, working in the Dismal Swamp betimes next morning, was informed that a youth waited in the hall who gave the name of Sloppy. The footman who communicated this intelligence made a decent pause before uttering the name, to express that it was forced on his reluctance by the youth in question, and that if the youth had had the good sense and good taste to inherit some other name it would have spared the feelings of him the bearer.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

5 years ago

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Never confuse movement with action.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes