Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Food Quotes, Paris Quotes

DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

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PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

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Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

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When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

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MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.

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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

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Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.

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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.

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Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. 'I was in the drawing-room, enjoying my dinner,' said Brillat-Savarin, beginning an anecdote. 'What!' interrupted Rochebriant; 'eating dinner in a drawing-room?' 'I must beg you to observe, monsieur,' explained the great gastronome, 'that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before.'

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When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

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REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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To the eye of failure success is an accident.

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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.

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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.

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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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