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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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- Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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- Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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- A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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- The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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- MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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- RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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- renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.
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- PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.
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- HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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- Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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- Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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- Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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- HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
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- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
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- MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
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- A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
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- RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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- PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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