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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
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- Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.
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- LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".
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- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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- FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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- DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.
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- Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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- Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.
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- Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.
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- RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
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- ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . .
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- Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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- PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
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- Advice, the smallest current coin.
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- ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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- OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment . . . . judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.
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- Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
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- IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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- I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
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