Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Wedding Quotes, Two Quotes

A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

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POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.

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The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

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War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

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Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

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Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.

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Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests.

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HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.

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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

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REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

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EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.

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General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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