Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Music Quotes, Civilization Quotes

NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

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Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.

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True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in "honoring the memory" of him of whom no memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.

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QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

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LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.

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QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.

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Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.

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REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.

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DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.

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One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

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