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  • Ambrose Bierce Quotes   976
  • EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Food Quotes
  • ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Heaven Quotes
  • Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dance Quotes , Daughter Quotes
  • optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.
    • 5 years ago



    Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Fall Quotes