Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hope Quotes, Pride Quotes

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.

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aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.

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REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.

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NOVEL, n. A short story padded.

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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.

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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.

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Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

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MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.

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ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

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OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.

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WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Affliction Quotes , Tongue Quotes