Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Best Love Quotes, Kissing Quotes

Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".

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TECHNICALITY, n. In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having accused his neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one side of the head fell upon one shoulder and the other side upon the other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder, for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an inference.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Taken Quotes , Home Quotes

SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Change Quotes , Strong Quotes

PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.

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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

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LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.

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MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration.

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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.

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PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

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Noise: a stench in the ear.

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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.

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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.

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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

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RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

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