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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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- QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.
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- At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.
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- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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- The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.
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- Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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- SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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- Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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- There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.
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- Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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- There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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- Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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- MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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- Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
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- What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
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- A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the "buffone", or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Character Quotes , Italian Quotes