Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Love Quotes, Philosophy Quotes

PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.

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An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

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BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Etna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

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A modern school where football is taught.

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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

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Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.

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DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

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FOLLY, n. That "gift and faculty divine" whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

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