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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
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- At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.
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- Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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- A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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- SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
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- PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance... The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one - the knowledge and the dream.
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- FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.
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- REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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- INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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- BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.
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- Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
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- Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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- A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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- SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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