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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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- TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
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- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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- What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
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- Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.
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- diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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- Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
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- prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.
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- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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- Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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- A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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- Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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- SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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- Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
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- POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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- gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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- HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
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- RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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