Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Passion Quotes

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Passion Quotes

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pain Quotes , Mind Quotes

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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Salamander: Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fire Quotes , Water Quotes

REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.

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What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

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When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

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What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

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WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .

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MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

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LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Power Quotes , Eulogy Quotes