Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes, Appreciate Quotes

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Appreciate Quotes

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Latin Quotes

BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes

The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Games Quotes , Wish Quotes

PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

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An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Judgment Quotes , Popularity Quotes

Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wall Quotes , Army Quotes

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Light Quotes

alone, adj. In bad company.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Solitude Quotes , Bad Company Quotes

CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dog Quotes , Doe Quotes

A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fall Quotes , Men Quotes

Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Islands Quotes , Savages Quotes

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.

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Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Death Quotes , Dying Quotes

CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Future Quotes

DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver. As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Grieving Quotes , Glasses Quotes