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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Machines Quotes
- WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .
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- RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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- BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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- HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
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- Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere "survivals" - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.
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- A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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- A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
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- Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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- MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.
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- Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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- Noise: a stench in the ear.
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- Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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- An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
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- MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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- Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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- SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.
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- PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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- SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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