Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Flower Quotes, Color Quotes

Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Flower Quotes , Color Quotes

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Pigs Quotes , Law Quotes

When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Adversity Quotes , Evil Quotes

MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Brain Quotes

OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ostriches Quotes , Wings Quotes

Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , War Quotes

Worms'-Meat, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Granitarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , House Quotes , Passing Away Quotes

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Philosopher Quotes

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Political Revolution Quotes , Cynical Quotes

HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , School Quotes

One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Dollars Quotes , Pursuit Quotes

The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Modern Quotes

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Doe Quotes

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Leadership Quotes , Philosophy Quotes

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Musical Quotes , Assassins Quotes

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Work Quotes