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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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- REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
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- Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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- SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.
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- LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.
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- PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.
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- Every heart is the lair of a ferocious animal. The greatest wrong that you can put upon a man is to provoke him to let out his beast.
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- MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
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- Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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- Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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- LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth.
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- Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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- MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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- PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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- To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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- Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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- Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.
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