Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Religion Quotes, World Quotes

INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.

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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

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RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

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Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

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BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Etna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

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DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

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Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference

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A man is known by the company he organizes.

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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

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SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

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DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.

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A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Learning Quotes , Science Quotes