Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Heart Quotes, Cat Quotes

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

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Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.

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HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that

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repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

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Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

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REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.

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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

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