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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
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- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.
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- BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.
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- Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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- R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".
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- Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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- Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
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- In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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- PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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- REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
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- COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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- Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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- INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
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- Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.
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- IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment.
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- To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.
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- War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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- MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
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- Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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- APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.
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