Mark Twain Quotes

Never do wrong when people are looking.

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There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is - in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree - it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell.

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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.

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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.

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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.

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When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business.

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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.

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I never write "metropolis" for seven cents when I can write "city" and get paid the same.

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Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press

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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.

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Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.

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Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

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If we read the words and attitudes of the past through the pompous "wisdom" of the considered moral judgments of the present, we will find nothing but error.

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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.

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A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.

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The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it.

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