Mark Twain Quotes, Together Quotes, May Quotes

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Together Quotes , May Quotes

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Alcohol Quotes

Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Book Quotes

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Literature Quotes

I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Reality Quotes , Crisis Quotes

To stand still is to fall behind.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fall Quotes , Behinds Quotes

Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes

To do right is wonderful. To teach others to do right is even more wonderful--and much easier.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wonderful Quotes , Easier Quotes

Life becomes fully understandable only the moment we realise that we are all mad.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mad Quotes , Intriguing Quotes

There are women who have an indefinable charm in their faces which makes them beautiful to their intimates, but a cold stranger who tried to reason the matter out and find this beauty would fail.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Matter Quotes

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Suicide Quotes

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Southern Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Men Quotes

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Parenting Quotes , Parent Quotes

To eat is human, to digest, divine

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humanity Quotes , Divine Quotes

I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Natural Quotes , Clock Quotes

His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Ideas Quotes

There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Two Quotes

I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Race Quotes