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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes
- I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.
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Tags : Aimee Mullins Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.
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Tags : Al Capone Quotes , Funny Quotes , Drinking Quotes
- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes
- A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.
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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes
- Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Both Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa had a superstition, however, that he would have declared his passion, if he had not been cut short in his youth (at about sixty) by over-drinking his constitution, and over-doing an attempt to set it right again by swilling Bath water.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Hatred is blind, as well as love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes