Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

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Tags : Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

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Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

4 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes