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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes
- He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes
- "Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church, and got herself named Peggotty?"
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christian Quotes
- Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- The nephew revenges himself for this, by holding his breath and terrifying his kinswoman with the dread belief that he has made up his mind to burst. Regardless of whispers and shakes, he swells and becomes discoloured, and yet again swells and becomes discoloured, until the aunt can bear it no longer, but leads him out, with no visible neck, and with his eyes going before him like a prawn's.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Revenge Quotes
- When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes
- What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.
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Tags : Alexander Pope Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes
- Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes
- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- ... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes