Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Kings Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Years Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

5 years ago

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Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Had be been Shakespeare, he would then have written Troilus and Cressidato brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to bite them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupidity Quotes

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes

In the majority of cases, conscience is an elastic and very flexible article

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Those who love not their fellow-beings live unfruitful lives, and prepare for their old age a miserable grave.

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

5 years ago

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

5 years ago

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes