George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.

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Tags : Bob Marley Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dream Quotes

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.

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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes