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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Respect Quotes
- If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Mr. Bazzard's father, being a Norfolk farmer, would have furiously laid about him with a flail, a pitch-fork, and every agricultural implement available for assaulting purposes, on the slightest hint of his son's having written a play.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes
- The great commander, who seemed by expression of his visage to be always on the look-out for something in the extremest distance, and to have no ocular knowledge of anything within ten miles, made no reply whatever.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Distance Quotes
- Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Riches are for spending.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- All art is quite useless.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes
- We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
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Tags : Alanis Morissette Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes