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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.
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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes
- I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes