George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happiness Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Plato Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cities Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

Farewell, fair cruelty.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

"Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girlfriend Quotes

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes