Aristotle Quotes, Funny Quotes, Depression Quotes

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Depression Quotes

... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smoking Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sorry Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening to an unfamiliar opera.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes