Voltaire Quotes, Funny Quotes, Friendship Quotes

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

5 years ago

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence and vagabondism; for in ancient days those two amusements, combining a wholesome excitement with a promising means of repairing shattered fortunes, were at once the ennobling pursuit and the healthful recreation of the Quality of this land.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.

5 years ago

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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Forever Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

5 years ago

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes