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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes
- But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes
- A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes
- The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- "Ah, Miss, hope is an excellent thing for such as has the spirits to bear it!" said Mrs Wickam, shaking her head. "My own spirits is not equal to it, but I don't owe it any grudge. I envys them that is so blest!"
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kissing Quotes
- I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes
- The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes
- I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.
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Tags : Maya Angelou Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- The French complain of everything, and always.
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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- No man knows he is young while he is young.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes