Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We have the best government that money can buy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

Here is the piece. If you can't say fornicate can you say copulate or if not that can you say co-habit? If not that would have to say consummate I suppose. Use your own good taste and judgment.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive

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Tags : Adriana Lima Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cute Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Poor Mr. Pickwick! ... If he played a wrong card, Miss Bolo looked a small armoury of daggers; if he stopped to consider which was the right one, Lady Snuphanuph would throw herself back in her chair, and smile with a mingled glance of impatience and pity to Mrs. Colonel Wugsby, at which Mrs. Colonel Wugsby would shrug up her shoulders, and cough, as much as to say she wondered whether he ever would begin.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

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Tags : Adam Sandler Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes