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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes
- A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The English country-gentleman galloping after a fox — the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes
- It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Math Quotes
- Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I am only human, although I regret it.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Regret Quotes
- I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.
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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes
- Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.
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Tags : Warren Buffett Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivation Quotes
- The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes
- Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Christmas Quotes
- The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young flower, but to open it by force like an oyster.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes
- Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes