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Funny Quotes 957
- Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you'd form some idea of what unrequited affection is.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Country Quotes
- Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiring Quotes
- If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religion Quotes
- Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , God Quotes
- Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- We have the best government that money can buy.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Triumph Quotes
- Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Army Quotes
- What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes
- There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes
- Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes