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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes
- I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Leadership Quotes
- It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple.
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Tags : Rabindranath Tagore Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- Hatred is blind, as well as love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- In particular, there was a butler in a blue coat and bright buttons, who gave quite a winey flavour to the table beer; he poured it out so superbly.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- What I tell you three times is true.
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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes
- A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Sunshine is my quest.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sunshine Quotes
- I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kindness Quotes
- If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes