Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes, Funny Quotes, Time Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Mrs. Boffin, insisting that Bella should make tomorrow's expedition in the chariot, she went home in great grandeur. Mrs. Wilfer and Miss Lavinia had speculated much on the probabilities and improbabilities of her coming in this gorgeous state, and, on beholding the chariot from the window at which they were secreted to look out for it, agreed that it must be detained at the door as long as possible, for the mortification and confusion of the neighbours.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

Frailty, thy name is woman!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Memorable Quotes

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes

Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Science Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes

The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

4 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes